I think I've gone and done it ... I've blow an O-ring or something and my motivation has been leaking out in vast quantities. My wife said to blame it on biorhythms ... and that may be part of it, but in the last week I've barely been on any social media and have written almost nothing. I've basically been vegging. I haven't felt compelled to do anything creative, not even play a video game. I have several projects going at the same time, including NaNoWriMo, and I think initially it may have been a reaction to overloading myself.
I just locked up with indecision on what I should be spending time on, and the fact that I had some physical ailments pop up that've been hindering my efforts to get ready for a fitness test at work. My career may be in jeopardy, at least the promotion side of it, and I'm concerned. I'm not in danger of losing my job or anything, but the hind brain works without any of my help and it may be working out stuff subconsciously. It doesn't feel outwardly like stress, but I think it is. I'm not really sure what the culprit really is but I can definitely see the results. I've been watching a lot of TV and sleeping more. Maybe I needed that. I dunno. At any rate, I'm backing off of my commitment to NaNoWriMo. I'm going to keep working on the story, but I'm going to stop worrying about the word count. I might still get back on track, but I'm extremely far off the curve right now, and I refuse to let it bother me. I really want to finish the revision on the WIP too, and keep this blog up.
Chuck Wendig had a great motivational post yesterday, telling us to stop listening to the naysayers in our lives, including ourselves. I'm dusting myself off and getting back in the saddle. That's what we do. I'm not a quitter, I hate quitting anything, but sometimes I need to give myself permission to suck at stuff, stuff like first drafts and hitting the mark in NaNoWriMo. I don't feel depressed or anything, just a little guilty for not pushing myself harder. Okay, that's enough of the pity party, I need to get back to work. I appreciate any good vibes you can send my way. =)
The rest of you out there doing the NaNo thing I wish you the best of luck and lots of glue for the chair and your butt.