It’s the end of the year and it usually brings an overabundance of introspection and reflection and for me it’s not just “what did I accomplish this year” but I find I’m looking at the big picture. Is my life shaping up the way I want it to? Am I having an impact on things that matter to me? Am I positioning myself to be able to influence things that are important to me? I’m approaching the big 5 0 and that may have something to do with it.
I can remember being a fresh-faced lieutenant and looking at what seemed an endless dark tunnel of training and hoop jumping to get where I wanted to be. It was great to finally get through that tunnel and into the daylight again. It took years of hard work and dedication to see the light at the end, but I made it through. The thing is, once I got over the fact that I had achieved my initial goals, I found that I was sitting on a knoll looking down at several more tunnel entrances. It had opened up possibilities and I had choices but I was going to have to go through more training and learning if I chose to come down off the knoll. It was nice sitting there for awhile, basking in the sunlight, but eventually you want more challenges. You find that you are not fulfilled for whatever reason. Maybe you aren’t doing what will really make you happy or have the impact that you want. You have to choose a new tunnel and start the process all over.